The Night We Escaped My Friends’ Dad Violence

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These are different friends who also lived through domestic violence, but sadly these friends were also there when I Witnessed My [other] Friend’s Mom Get Beaten for “Disrespecting” Husband. With a lot of discussion on the Stanford rape case, and sexual violence, I continue to share some things most of you don’t know about my life, including His Retaliation When I Rejected His Advances, in a series of blog posts on assault, domestic violence and abuse, in which I have been a witness of and even escaped from. Read more

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I Witnessed My Friend’s Mom Get Beaten for “Disrespecting” Husband

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As a kid, it was “normal” to see wives get beaten for disrespecting their husbands, even in front of a crowd.  With a lot of discussion on the Stanford rape case, and sexual violence, I continue to share some things most of you don’t know about my life, including His Retaliation When I Rejected His Advances, in a series of blog posts on assault, domestic violence and abuse, in which I have been a witness of and even escaped from. Read more

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His Retaliation When I Rejected His Advances

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With a lot of discussion on the Stanford rape case, and of sexual violence, I thought it’s time to share some things most of you don’t know about my life, in a series of blog posts on assault, domestic violence and abuse; NOT only physical but mental abuse, in which I have been a witness of and even escaped from.  Read more

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Life Being “Ugly” & the Day I Could’ve Died Because of It

Most of us have felt ugly at some point of our lives, and sadly many of us still do.  TV, media, models digitally enhanced in magazines add pressures to individuals, to meet the criteria of standards defined and accepted in society. As an Asian American growing up in a primarily white community I had to get used to the stares.  Usually, it’s not the “You’re gorgeous” good stare, but the stare when Aliens set foot on earth and you lean in to ask, What are you??   But there is also racism within race– colored people, Asian, black, hispanic, preferring light skin over dark skin.  Here are some struggling with living in an “ugly” person , from bullying to the point I almost completely died from suffocation, to not attracting boys at all.

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New Health Care Reform – Affordable Care Act

I have had my own private health insurance for years and even have declined employer health insurances in the past, due to high premiums for the mediocre coverage.  This past year, however, I was on a employer’s plan for over a year.  But to my dismay, after getting off their health insurance a few weeks ago, I realized how “private” health insurance have changed significantly, and we, as U.S. Americans, are faced with completely new breed of health care reform laws, under the Affordable Care Act.  I would say it seems to have its advantages and disadvantages. 

I actually was going to risk it for the first time in my life, to go without health insurance, but the health reformed mentioned a penalty or fine if we do.  Though there are catastrophic “coverage,” to pay for the increasingly high premiums, waiting until a catastrophe happens to meet the extremely high deductibles ($6200+), sounds.. well catastrophic already. Well, I thought to take a moment to give some more information or survival tips in this post.

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Unintentional Relationship/Friendship Sabotage

One of the worse habits one can do is unintentionally sabotaging a relationship or friendship before it really begins, and I am guilty of that.  After being hurt many times or even once, it is easy for one to fall into distrust, or be afraid to get hurt again.. so we sometimes do or say things that do more harm than good, thus driving or warding people off before giving them a chance. Read more

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Loneliness II

Loneliness is when you want to love someone but they refuse to love you back. Loneliness is thinking of others first, but chosen last, thought of last, or not being thought of at all.  Loneliness is losing important people permanently, who treated you well, and having to say your last goodbyes at their burial. Loneliness is being given insensitivities and make mockery of these situations by those who were supposed your closest.  Loneliness is trusting so many, but having that trust broken.  Loneliness is longing for acceptance from others, needing others to be there and their support, but instead avoided.  Loneliness is realizing after all this, and the feeling of isolation, neglect, and abandonment, that for once, for the first time, you’re not OK with being alone in your apartment.

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Girls Expectations and Demands – (Part 2 – “Good Behavior”)

…Continued from: Part 1 – Career Aspirations

As the saying goes: “Well-Behaved women seldom make history.”  I did grow up in a strict Asian cultural setting.  Luckily, my particular culture does NOT promote killing their own daughters for dishonoring.   Have you seen YouTube’s Sh*t Asian Dad’s Says?  As humorous and ridiculous as the video, it is not far from the truth.  Yes, I wasn’t allowed to date until I finished college, hanging out with guys before finishing school was frowned upon, and no, we weren’t allowed to attend school dances (aka party/dancing). The list goes on.  The whole thing usually revolves around the fear that daughters will drop out, run away with a guy, getting raped or pregnant, thus ruining our lives and dishonoring the family lineage. Read more

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Girls Expectations and Demands – (Part 1 – Career Aspirations)

Women have not been created equal. Some cultures, girls are still not allowed to hang out or interact with boys, but even if you haven’t grown up in such culture, there are still demands in behavioral, career, weight, etc, expectations placed on girls growing up and women of today.  Unfortunately, many women end up taking on these roles because it’s the only way they were taught or the only choice that they feel they have.  In extreme cases, some take their own lives, or like last post, because a daughter didn’t live up to female standards, Father Kills Daughter in order to “restore honor” back to the family. Read more

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Honor Death – Father Kills His Daughter

This Honor Death episode was about a Noor Almaleki who converted from Muslim to Christianity and became “too Americanized” which disappointed her family.  She ran away, knowing they would kill her, but was ultimately hunted down and murdered by her own father.   Being Asian myself, I can relate being shunned by some Asian communities, so it was shocking that a lot of people in their  U.S. community never heard of this “Honor killing” including the juries of this case who did not label it as that.  It was as if just people didn’t know what it was and never heard of it, that it was silly made up thing to prosecute and doesn’t exist. But if you study world cultures, the reality is it does exists and also happens several places in the world including Europe, and I knew that since I was a kid.   Warning: this blog is a spoiler, so watch this episode first if you’d like. Read more

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