Designated Boyfriend

I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine told me that he had a lot of female friends and some would request that he be the designated boyfriend to protect them from guys trying to pick them up. I thought, that is such a great idea, so very chivalrous of him, and certainly is very useful when one is in need of someone to save you from awkward or creepy moments.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, people are more than ever looking for that special someone to spend Vday with. There is probably a noticeable increase in that, in public stations. If you go out in public places a lot you probably witnessed or experienced yourself awkward situations of being unwelcomely approached. I had my fair share of never-ending stories. People tell me I should be flattered that I get this much attention, but I’m not sure why one would like being freaked out of their mind by people who scare the living day lights out of them at times. But I guess some people do like some of that excitement and thrill of feeling so desired. The attention may be a rush for some. I just rather be left in peace (and in 1 piece!) than for a stranger to scare me and not have a good nights rest.

I’ve had awkward situations and scary situations where I wish I had a designated boyfriend and I’m pretty embarrassed to write about this (and many things I write in this blog), but maybe you can relate. It doesn’t matter the location or time, I would encounter the most unbelievable things, where it would be just so convenient to say, “This is my boyfriend.” Unfortunately, even if I had a pretend boyfriend, I probably would have a hard time saying it to be believable, so if you’re going to have one, be OK to prepare to lie about it. On a serious note, maybe it can save your life. There were rare situations where I thought my life was on a line and wished I had thought in advanced to pretend that I had a boyfriend.  I did once pretend that I had a girlfriend.. but that did NOT help, and made things worse because the guy ended up trying to get to know the both of us. For a feminist point of view, not at all either implying that you need absolutely a fake boyfriend or man to save your life either, it just sometimes makes it easier and same goes with for guys and “designated girlfriends.”

My friend says that being their designated boyfriend had effectively worked for them over the years. Be warned though, a designated boyfriend does not always work, nor does being with a group of people. I never had a designated boyfriend, but I do hang out with a lot of guys, but even though most people probably assume that when a girl and a guy is hanging out, they are dating or in a relationship, it still doesn’t stop assertive or aggressive individuals who see a target and will go after it. I’ve hung out with groups of people before, yet there were still strangers who would make the effort to break through the crowd to talk to me.

So next time you want to be out, I would recommend a very trusted friend who could be your “designated boyfriend” (or “girlfriend”) to protect you. If you are looking for someone, I’m sure there are alternative solutions like just basically being up front and saying that you’re not interested, but be respectful and sensitive to minimize the reaction that you may get.

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