Women have not been created equal. Some cultures, girls are still not allowed to hang out or interact with boys, but even if you haven’t grown up in such culture, there are still demands in behavioral, career, weight, etc, expectations placed on girls growing up and women of today. Unfortunately, many women end up taking on these roles because it’s the only way they were taught or the only choice that they feel they have. In extreme cases, some take their own lives, or like last post, because a daughter didn’t live up to female standards, Father Kills Daughter in order to “restore honor” back to the family.
Growing up in as an Asian girl, there were several rules (and rules today) that I had to follow. I may have mentioned in a previous post of enjoying playing with my brother’s toys instead of my own, (lego’s, Tinker Toys, productive toys “meant” for boys). I was intrigued by the Easy Bake Oven, baby dolls, pink nail salons, and fake kitchen sets, but I also was fascinated by my brother’s toys. I also had a little Tom boy in me. What stood out until this day, was when I was playing with a water gun and adult male relative asked, “Why are you playing with a water gun? That toy for boys. Why don’t you play with dolls?” My response was explaining the technicalities of the water gun– it shoots out water, I can target practice, and it’s fun.
I also had this princess phase wearing dresses and striving to look like one of those Disney princess to be rescued by some prince, but at the same time, I envied my brother. I asked, “Why does he get to walk around without a shirt, why can’t I??” I would rebelliously pull out my shirt, as my mom chased me to put it back on.
Career Aspirations
Speaking of which, American girls’ are taught early on, to cook, clean, look pretty and watching those Disney fairy tales where they get rescued by a rich prince charming. Guys on the other hand, have to be technical, constructive and be the savior, (reflected in those toys for boys). The most vital years of development is infant age, and instead of teaching something productive like boys are taught, girls’ are taught to be domestic. It’s no wonder why engineers, architects, programmers, and technology today is still male dominated and many women are “behind.”
Women are generally trained to believe that they are not capable of excelling in science and technology, and more so taught to be nurturers, a good wife, nurses, teachers, etc. I grew up being told by a few male “role models” that I was not capable of pursuing Computer Science or Web programming, that I should instead be a bookkeeper, accountant or nurse (not that there’s anything wrong with those careers, it’s just there’s something wrong and degrading in society to say everything else is a “man’s job”).
I actually met at least one educated women, who’s deep dreams and aspiration was to be “rescued” by some prince-like husband who would be the bread winner as she bear many children. I don’t mean to judge such goals, but it is scary to think anyone (wether a male or female), would financially rely on another person 100%, instead of learning to be financially independent, in case something happens (e.g. if divorce occurs, or spouse passes away). I’ve heard cases where life changing events happens and when they are suddenly forced to be on their own, they don’t know how to survive or do simple things like how to pay bills. They may get conned or scammed along the way, or spend a fortune hiring others to do it for them. Or sometimes they give the burden to another love interest in their life, to do it for them.
I advocate for, trying to be independent, and no matter how intimidating a male dominated career choice is, to try it out if that’s what you want, no matter what anyone one else says. I grew up being discouraged to pursue the technology field, rebelled and made it happen. I was also told that with my size, I am not physically capable of doing certain martial arts like Capoeira.. and that drove me to seek it out and prove them wrong.
Not to sound cliche, but if I can do it, you can too.
To Be Continued….
