Is it a good thing or terrible thing to be stubborn? If you are stubborn or viewed as stubborn, I don’t think it is necessarily always a bad thing. But the majority probably would think otherwise.

So what does it mean to be stubborn?  The “unwillingness” to give into an opinion, idea, or entity.  Being “set in your way.”  But why is that so “bad,” as defined by society?  Doesn’t that mean that you know what you want, know who you are, and that you’re willing stand up for what YOU believe in, instead of giving in to what everyone else thinks, or just following orders?

It doesn’t seem so.. and instead is sometimes passed off by others as arrogance.  But arrogance is associated with pride or ego, thinking that you know everything, or that you’re usually to always “right.”  Arrogance is definitely a different definition than “stubborn” and has an immediate negative connotation.  So because of that, Stubbornness has the capability to be the achilles heal to any friendship or relationship.

I heard from somewhere, (probably the news) that there are 3 things you should never talk– money, religion, and politics.  Of course, the way that the economy has been going, these more recent years, it is less of a taboo to bring up the financial worries… but still controversial if jealousy arises.

To think about it,  everyone has some “stubborn” qualities when it comes to how they feel about these topics, especially religion and politics, and chances are, no matter how open minded you are, if you have strong religious or political beliefs, if someone comes up to you with an opposing belief, your initial reaction is to disagree.  This also applies with advice people give that goes against personal beliefs or desired decisions.

But if you decide to voice your disagreement, sometimes that can be really upsetting to others, (a least from my experience).  I have to admit, I am stubborn, and some of my friends know it.  I am an open person but others may not see that because I have some strong opinions that others may strongly disagree upon.  But the truth is, I am mostly fine with agreeing to disagree, but many seem to not be OK with that disagreement.  They mistaken my disagreement as me not understanding their perspective, not taking into consideration their opinions or advice or rejecting their thoughts all together.   But just because I don’t agree, does not mean that I don’t understand where they are coming from or did not take it into consideration.

Take veggies for example.  Most of us understand why some people don’t like veggies even when some of us like it.   Kids especially prefer sweets.  Vegetarians prefer veggies over meat.  We can understand that some vegetarians chose to not eat meat because of animal rights reasons and others are less likely to debate this.  But it’s harder for non-meat eaters to convince others that eliminating meat out of a diet is “healthier” and that eating meat is “bad for you” for example.  That’s controversial.  So some meat eaters, may get offended, and some may debate the importance of meat in a diet.  For me on the other hand, I can agree to disagree on either because it is a matter of personal preference.  The most would be voicing my own opinion but I’m not going to tell you what to believe and I’m not going to resent you for feeling the way you do nor call you stubborn or less understanding.

The only exception is I am less tolerable to extreme words of hate, prejudice and discrimination.  Not to say I can’t be friends with all people who are… I know people who prefer to date within their own race, religion, etc.  I don’t agree with it, but I’m not going to argue with them.  What I am less tolerable to is extreme hatred and prejudice to certain groups, and that’s where I may have a longer discussion with to break down the stereotypes.

Anyways, getting back to “stubbornness”  I almost lost some friends and may have lost a few from being “stubborn” with people who may not be able to be around me for having a difference of opinion or even lack of.  It is really sad because my intentions are not to hurt anyone with my opinions.  I am open to hearing them out.. and for them to “enlighten” me in peace, if there is a good reason for me to change my mind, but I cannot guarantee that I will change my mind, nor do what people tell me….  The ironic thing was I was so used to wanting to make everyone happy by doing everything that everyone told me and agreeing so that I won’t get into an argument…  Yet when I finally was able to have a mind of my own later on into my adult years, it feels unacceptable to society.  But the truth is.. I and you can’t make everyone happy and we all have to be stubborn sometimes to do the right things for us or to have an opinion about something or we’ll all be robots.

Sometimes we just need to agree to disagree in peace.  They won’t budge, you won’t budge either, so the both of you may be dubbed as “stubborn.”  It’s not worth it to lose a good friend over a difference in opinion.  I think respect is the key.  It’s not about who’s right, who’s wrong, who has a bigger say, but about working together.  Now imagine if all of the political parties stopped spending so much time bashing each other, and got together to find solutions to problems together!

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